Monthly Archives: September 2012

It’s been awhile since we last posted…but that’s because we’ve been busy gathering CONTENT for this blog.  And believe me, there have been some doozies.  I’m going to start with a date that I had a few weeks ago.  The guy was cute, smart (a lawyer) and seemed fairly normal.  Fairly.  I won’t bore you with the details of what we talked about over our four hour dinner and drinks (3 drinks, to be exact) but I could tell he was into me.  There were a few red flags; for one, his laugh was louder than everyone else in the ENTIRE restaurant.  Not kidding.  When he laughed, it was like everyone else got quiet and stared at us.  THAT would get annoying after a few weeks…and second, he cursed A LOT.  It’s not like I never curse (duh, I do) but when a person’s every other word is “fuck” or “fucking” it becomes a matter of W-T, if you know what I mean.  Curses are supposed to be used for emphasis, not as an adjective.  But whatever.  He seemed nice and we had a good time so I was thinking that I would probably go out with him again, if he did ask.

The end of dinner came and he had taken the Metro to the restaurant, since he works in downtown LA and it’s super convenient there.  I offered him a ride back to his apartment (he lives right near me) and he happily accepted.  As soon as the valet pulled up, the conversation went a little something like this:

Potty mouth: OH, you drive a Mercedes?

Me: Yeah! I just got it and I love it.

Potty mouth: Wow…that’s a nice car. I like the C Class a lot…I drive a really old piece-of-shit Camaro.

Me: Well, you said it yourself, you never drive so what’s the point of having a new car?

Potty mouth: yeah (gets into car)…this is a REALLY nice car though.

Can you guess the outcome?  Potty mouth never called because obviously his penis is the size of a ball point pen.  I am 100% convinced that my car is the entire reason that he never called me but I kind of don’t care because I probably wouldn’t have made it past date 2 with that ridiculous laugh anyway.