Category Archives: Social Media be Hatin’

I’m not sure how Klout determines what topics I am influential in, but this algorithm is really hurting my dating life. When first signing up for Klout, I honestly thought my list would read like something out of an indie magazine with music, humor and fashion at the top. Because I AM influential in these things…or at least I thought. Instead, I’ve compiled a list that makes me look like a sadistic cat lady. Above, you can see a screenshot of my top 5 which include Latex, Horror, Salmon, Juice and Cats. WOW. Based on this all I picture is myself in a full latex suit, murdering people while a bunch of cats run around me in my apartment. I’m the Michelle Pfeiffer of the real world! I swear Klout is just effing with me at this point. I don’t even have a cat but somehow I influence people in them? ¬†More importantly than looking like a psycho, I have yet to qualify for a legitimate perk like the rest of my friends. Where is my latex cat suit? I’m influential in the damn thing and I can’t even get a free Halloween costume out of it! The ¬†only thing that could possibly make it any worse is if self-help books made their way to this list.